A little personal time with blackrabbit

Hey guys so I dicided to tell you guys some stuff that's a little personal

1. I have quite a few mental illnesses, and because of this I can be marked as retarted...but I'm not.the illnesses that I've been diagnosed with are; adhd, dislexia, bipolar, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, sculliosis, sensory inagration, slight insanity, overactive imagination,and loads more.

2. Yes I'm suicidal and have tired suicide many times I'm sad to say. But as you can see none have worked I've tried; Drowning, OD, and choking 

(But don't worry I've got it all undercontrol I'm seeing a doctor about it and I'm fine now I promise!!)

3. I'm an angrey violent person. I think that scares my friends a lot which makes me sad. I have punched people before, broken someone's noes, and broken a Handel off of a locked door as well at broke two closet doors. I'm scared that one day I, going to snap and actually kill someone.

4. I feel alone in this world like no one understands me, it sucks.....I feel alone in this world kinda like a pluzzle piece that's in the wrong box...it will never fit, or connect with the other pieces, it just sits there all alone, diffrent, stuck in a crazy world of puzzle pieces where it's not needed, and that's how I feel. 

5. I beat myself up about a lot of things. All my friemds say I'm to hard on myself and I'm fine but I don't think that's true. I feel like I have to lose weight, I have to become pretty, I need to be funnier to keep my friends, I don't diserved to be loved if I do something wrong, I'm not good at school.

But I'm under weight, I've had multiple people say I'm cute, my friends think I'm hillarious, I do diserve to be loved, and I get all A's in school.

6. I have trust issues. I don't trust people I've been broken so many times I'm scared of people. If you raise your hand to pat me on the head or back, I will flinch because I think you going to hit me, it easy to scare me because I'm scared of everything a person does because I think they're trying to hurt me. I don't even trust my friends at times because what if they backstabbing me? 

Thanks for listening guys some times I need to talk things out and I can't do it with the fam....they already think I should be put into an isilam....